Words have quite the impact, don’t they? They can build us up, bring us to tears, warm our hearts, and sometimes make all the difference between succeeding in life, and, well, trying really, really hard and somehow with doubtful words on repeat in our heads, never achieving our endeavors.
If push comes to shove, the difference between those who succeed and those who do not may indeed come down to who believes the most in themselves, who gives themselves the positive pep talks they need, and reaffirm the Good. This could even be the difference between a self confident person and one who may appear fabulous but is riddled with self doubt.
While listening to RadioLab, I learned that the formation and learning of words in a child’s brain was then the beginning of “thinking”, that there exists no internal dialogue of thoughts prior to words, and that the inner voice one learns to hear as her own is actually not her own voice at all, but the myriad of voices heard during this formative stage. Peggy O’Mara phrased it this way – “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”
I know that like so many others, I too have felt talented, a fount of good ideas, filled with loads of ambition, yet would flounder in my endeavors. Only within the very recent present, did I learn of the nagging, judgemental, critical inner voice which elicited so much doubt with every new undertaking, that failing seemed an obvious outcome. I would rail against the unfairness of the world when others would succeed and soar while I continually stumbled and fell. It certainly wasn’t for lack of want, or aspiration. It was very simply, a lack of belief, an abundance of unrelenting negative self talk.
If there is one single aspect to being happy, to achieving a dream, to magnetize abundance and positive outcomes, I can honestly point to the way we think and the words we use. If negative self talk can yield negative results, then positive words could yield positive results, yes?
For over a year, I decided to test this theory on myself by agreeing to go on a negativity free mental diet. Throughout the day, I affirmed my positive attributes, my success, my talent, the abundance which existed in my life and was on its way. And you know what? It felt ….
Awful. At first. For a good few weeks, I felt like a liar. I felt self conscious and shy. I felt angry and awkward. Why was it so much easier to simply hide in the shadows and crouch? Why could I not stand taller? Why was it effortless to say nasty things to myself but affirming the positive felt humiliating?
Over the course of a month, the positive experiment drifted away from eliciting angry feelings to eliciting tears … but I was determined. I had heard others speak of doing just such a Life Experiment with marvelous results. I too wanted marvelous results …
And one day… I didn’t feel like I was lying. It didn’t feel embarrassing to state the Good. It felt GOOD to state the good. It felt happy, open, and, it has to be said – FREEING. I felt as though I had finally released myself from a prison where I myself was the jailor.
I found myself talking to myself in the same manner that I speak to others, to my daughters, to my husband – with kindness, compassion, and love.
And did this change my life?
I think it is still in the process of doing so. I do find I seem to be managing Life, the ups, the downs, the Goals and the Dreams … with a certain conviction I did not have before. In spite of appearances, or less than stellar sales, in spite of ever fluctuating bank accounts… there exists within me an inner knowing, a calm, reassuring voice which says: “It will all be ok. I believe in you, in this. Just have Faith – because big things are on the horizon.”
How very reassuring.
And you know what? – I believe this indwelling guide.
In the words of Stuart Smalley – “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog garn it, people like me.” 🙂
Have a wonderful weekend, my angels!
FYI: New prints added to the Shop today with this post in mind! Take a look, won’t you? And please spread the word and good cheer if you feel someone you care about could benefit from this bit of cheer.